For the past few years, in the days between Christmas and New Years, a close friend and I have dedicated our time to making elaborate, ambitious, colorful goal lists. And they seriously are colorful; we use markers and illustrate them, so by the end of the Starbucks session, they look more like third grade art projects than our life plans for the next 365 ¼ days. As a girl who’s a bit of a control freak, I’ve always been big on checklists. So, having my goals on a well organized month-by-month checklist was kind of a dream come true, and while I never met ALL of my goals, I did pretty well. Even better, we had fun creating our goals. That checklist has seen everything from “Be a lady in the street but a freak in the bed” to “Graduate college” and “Get a 4.0”.
But now, I’ve come to a crossroads. After being in school continuously for seventeen years of my life, I’m not anymore. After working pretty much non-stop for most of college, I’m now unemployed. And, after living in a fabulous, metropolitan beach town for the past 4 years on my own, I’m preparing to move back into my mother’s house in a decidedly UN-fabulous, un-metropolitan, 250-miles-from-the-beach town. In other words, my absolute worst nightmare.
It’s funny though, how sometimes your worst nightmare is exactly what you need. I’ll admit, this happens rarely, but in this case, it really is. My plan had always been to stay in this fabulous town, working any job that would hire me, to be able to afford my apartment and keep living my fabulous life until I was pulled away by a fabulous grad program in a fabulous town. It seemed like a great plan, but my primary reason for wanting all this, and being willing to sacrifice my life savings for it, was so I could stay close to my fabulous boyfriend. So you can imagine my surprise when this fabulous boyfriend broke up with me (he wasn't going to be staying near the fabulous town anymore himself), and mere moments later had all but disappeared completely from my life. Shortly after, when I decided to actually do the math, I realized that by moving home, I could save up to $18,000, just in living expenses (turns out the cost of living in fabulous cities is insanely high). And really, even the most fabulous towns aren’t that fun when you have no one, including friends, to do fabulous activities with.
So that’s how it happened. One day, moving back home was my worst nightmare, the next, it was my only feasible option. But I’m determined to make the most of it! For the past 17 years, I’ve worked my ass off (literally, anyone looking for a quick weight loss fix should try STRESS. Its not healthy, but its effective) to do well in school, to get into the next level of school, and to work to save money for that next big adventure (which, inevitably, was always school). Now I have a year to do whatever I want to do, and I realize I have no idea what I want or what I like. I have no hobbies. I don’t have many close friends. And now, I don’t have school.
So its time to shake things up! Of course, I still need to get into grad school, or else this blog will be indefinitely long, and even my mom will decide to stop reading. Getting a job to pay for said grad school would probably not be a bad idea. But besides the practical aspects, I have an entire year to do whatever I want. So, its time for another checklist. The coming year is dedicated to the things I’ve always wanted to do, but never had an excuse for since, arguably, they won’t lead to anything (at least on paper) that I can utilize for my future goals.
1. I want to write a book. Will it suck? Definitely. But hey, I’ve got a year of a
2. I’m going to watch EVERY movie on the AFI 100 Years… 100 Passions list. I like movies. I like old movies. I like unrealistic portrayals of romance. So I’m doing it.
3. I’m going to make some friends, since somehow, in the past 4 years, I haven’t done as much of that as I should have.
4. I’m going to make the world a better place. I’m not sure how, but I’m going to do it.
5. I’m going to do something that scares me. I'm not sure what, but it will be amazing.
6. I’m going to laugh EVERY day, and really try to enjoy life, despite the fact that I’m in the last place I’ve ever dreamed of.
7. I’m going to travel. Maybe it won’t be far, and maybe it won’t be glamorous (I am still unemployed after all) but I’m going to get out there and explore. Might as well, right!
8. I’m going to appreciate the time I get to spend with my family, because we may never live in the same town again, and honestly, that’s a little bittersweet.
9. I’m going to run a 5k. I hate exercising, and I especially hate running. But its time to get my ass in gear! Who knows, maybe I’ll get ambitious and even try a sprint triathalon. Maybe.
10. And I’m going to get into a fabulous grad school, DESPITE the fact that my GPA is not perfect, DESPITE the fact that we’re in a recession and my programs seem to be getting cut left and right, and DESPITE the fact that the only schools I want to go to are horribly impacted. I’ll make it happen.
11. And last but not least, I’ll write about it ALL here.
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