Looking for the silver lining

Today's optimistic realization: I probably won't get osteoporosis because the only way I can drink coffee is with like a pint of whole milk. Also, I have an addiction to melted cheese.

It's all about the little victories!

These are a few of my favorite things...

(And they're slightly more modern than raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens)

If I had to make a list of my favorite things, it would take me YEARS to complete (if I ever even completed it) and it would take up so much paper that it would probably be the most eco-unfriendly thing I've done in my life. So I won't do that. BUT my favorite things that I got to experience today are as follows:

1. PRESENTS. I know I'm too old to get that excited about presents, but who doesn't love them? In our family we do an annual lunch in the week before Christmas where we get pre-Christmas presents. And only girl cousins/aunts/Grandma come. And we eat awesome food. Definitely one of my favorite holiday traditions.

2. MEXICALI SALSA. Anyone from Bakersfield knows Mexicali, and Mexicali isn't anywhere but Bakersfield, so this shouldn't be a news flash to anyone who can actually get there to try some. It is the BEST. I don't even need chips, I'd drink that stuff straight if I could handle the heat/embarrassment of doing such a thing in public.

3. KINDERGARTNERS. How funny are kindergartners? Try a kindergartner talking about Santa coming in a matter of days. This kids face lit up like I imagine mine did when I clicked "purchase" on my Crosby Loggins tickets or first walked into the Nordstrom's shoe department.

4. PLANET EARTH. The documentary. I love our planet too, it's just this documentary is so unbelievably fantastic. And I'm not one of those hoity toity documentary watchers who prefers "films" to "movies". But I don't even have the correct adjectives to describe how much I LOVE this one. Breathtaking isn't an intense enough word. It's just freaking amazing. I want to spend all my time from now on in front of a tv watching them.

5. READING BOOKS IN BED. Even if it's like 3 pm. It is hands down one of my favorite things to do. And to have time to read what I want? I still haven't gotten used to that particular joy yet. Currently reading The Help which I can recommend to anyone and everyone. Just finished This Side of Paradise, which may have been a bit too smart for me. Before that, The Lace Reader. Absolutely fantastic. Get yourself to your nearest library, bookstore, or amazon.com and get them. NOW.

6. RED LIPSTICK. Instant glamour. Enough said.

A milestone reached, and a really great incentive to floss

Bragging point: For the past 22 years, I have had NO CAVITIES!

Downside: my most recent trip to the dentist indicated that in the 6 months between cleanings, I got my first cavity. And then got 6 more. Yes, you read that right. SEVEN. I have SEVEN cavities.

So this morning I woke up nice and early on my first day of vacation to venture out in the rain to remedy the problem. Except when you have SEVEN cavities, it's too much to remedy all at once. So I got the first half taken care of.

Ok, I understand that this is par for the course, but can I just say that needle they stick ALL THE WAY into your gums is terrifyingly long? Is that really necessary? Because I kind of think it is not. Secondly, not a fan of laying with my mouth wide open for like 45 minutes. And lastly, there were like 3 hands in my mouth at one time. And a drill. Good lord.

And despite my "Calm the fuck down" playlist ringing in my ears, I could not stop thinking "How did this happen?!" I am a flosser! Do I floss every day, yeah, ok, maybe not, but I do do it! And fairly regularly! Looking back on the past 6 months though, I have eaten a LOT of candy... and sugary coffee... and soda... and frozen blended drinks of the umbrella variety. So I guess it's not that surprising, considering. And I should probably be thankful it's my teeth that went to hell and I didn't gain like 80 lbs from all that junk. But MAN. Now that I can only smile with half of my mouth and I look like some comic book villain, I have a new commitment to flossing. For now, at least! ;-) (I wish they had a half-smile emoticon... this feels a little bit misleading)

Stress is bad, stress is bad, stress is bad

So no matter how many books I read on the topic, or get advice from people WAY smarter than me, everyone who's anyone seems to agree that stress is BAD. Bad for you mentally, physically, in the long term... no matter how you slice it, it's something to be avoided.

And I get that. I don't doubt ANY of the information. But I have a confession... I LIVE for it. And I don't know why, but I can't seem to break myself of the habit! I'll just go ahead and confess it all. I am a stress junkie!

I think it started in high school. I had a friend who constantly complained about how much she had on her plate, and it was literally a point of pride, and almost like a sport to me to know that I had more on mine. It was like "oh, really? Guess how much I'm doing!" I think it may have gotten to the point that I took on extra things just to add to my impossibly long list. I remember at one point, right before AP tests (I was taking 3 of them) I also had two attorney roles in Mock Trial, AND a leading role in the school play, and was still somehow pulling a perfect, straight A's GPA. When I drank so many rockstars in a day that my urine turned a VERY unnatural neon color, I was thrilled! Alarmed, yeah, ok, maybe a little bit. But mostly thrilled.

I mean, that's sick, isn't it? And then I got to college, and I don't care WHO you are, if you've survived a single college finals week, you know stress on a very intimate level. And, no, it's never enjoyable, but once the finals are over, and I'd actually survived AND succeeded... it was awesome. There's a real sense of accomplishment that goes along with getting SO MUCH done in so little time (and with so little sleep).

So now, I've graduated college, and there's this big empty hole where my stress used to be. I go to work, and when I come home, I don't have to do much of anything until work the next morning if I don't want to. And I suppose that's nice. But really, it's not. I miss the scared-to-death, never going to get it done on time rush that goes along with having a million things to do and not nearly enough time to do it. That sensation of just checking things off the list left and right is SO AWESOME. I'll admit it. I miss it! And yeah, I have grad applications, but I've had so much time I've actually been working ahead on them. Bor-ing!

Then, today, I got a letter in the mail. I submitted the online application for all the CSU's I'm applying to about a week and a half ago so I'd be able to send in my transcripts and such for SDSU before UCSD closed for winter break. So I'm going along, not worried at all, when this letter comes from CSU Fresno. Turns out, you have to have ALL your application materials in within two weeks of the online application. Which is great. Except for the fact that I did not learn this fact until 11 days after I sent the application. Which means I have 3 days to not only complete the application, but also get it there. Scary scary stuff. I LOVED IT. I brewed a pot of coffee, literally RAN around my house getting my desk area work-able, lost every bit of fashion sense trying to find the perfect study outfit (has to be the perfect combo of warm/not clingy/not touching my legs.... tricky), AND GOT DOWN TO BUSINESS.

Ah, it feels so good to get the old heart racing again. Yeah, it's probably a sign of impending doom. But I love it!

Update

Elizabeth Edwards (see post from a few hours ago) just passed away. The world just lost an amazing woman, but her power as a role model will definitely live on.

Class Outlasts Trash, Post 2

For those of you who know me, I have been somewhat unhealthily obsessed with class lately. I'm not sure why exactly, because it's not like I'm a buffoon or anything (I hope) but I see certain women with so much poise and grace (but who aren't statues/stepford wives... nobody likes those) and I'm like DAMN I want to be you! Then I was Christmas shopping at Urban Outfitters and happened upon this gem of a book, called Classy: Exceptional Advice for the Extremely Modern Lady. I haven't read it yet, but as soon as I saw on the inside jacket that it's a humorous approach to all things classy, and teaches young ladies the difference between dinner conversations, and conversations that should only be had with your gynecologist, I knew this book was for ME!

So, due to this rapidly growing obsession with growing into a classy lady myself, whenever I see someone with ridiculous amounts of class, I've got to share it. So let's begin. Elizabeth Edwards: CLASSY LADY TO THE MAX. Always graceful, always polite, but never a doormat. I WANT TO BE LIKE HER. She's of the few political wives who actually had the cajones to leave her cheating husband, and also one of the few who took a front seat on the campaign and is a political force all her own (and has been long before her husband's fame got her there). And she did all this while fighting terminal cancer! I mean, if you're looking for a role model, this lady takes the cake.

I just read that she's been told that further treatment for her cancer would be pointless, and she's gone home to her family to live out the rest of her days in peace, and that may be as little as a few weeks or months. Reading this broke my heart. I know if it were me, I would be falling apart at the seams right now. But she, ever the classy lady, used this unbelievably sad and unfair situation to encourage other people. How amazing is that? Here's a little blurb of what she wrote, and something I'm going to try to live by from now on:

"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful."


This woman is beyond amazing.

It's December, so my glass is half full

So I've been thinking more about my last post (ages ago, I know) and coincidentally, I've also been reading up on Buddhism, which is fascinating, and I've made some progress. I still stand by what I said about never being able to REALLY know if someone's trustworthy or not. But I like the idea of seeing the best in people, NOT because it's a foolproof strategy (trust me, it is NOT) but because I would hope that when people look at me, they choose to see my favorable qualities instead of my less than perfect ones. So there you go folks. The answer to all of your questions. You're welcome. =) And beyond that, let's give ourselves some credit here! Yes, seeing the best in people might cause some discomfort down the road. But have some faith in your resilience! You will survive it. I guarantee it!

Additional little note on Buddhism, that seems perfect for this time of year. GIVING. So yes, it should be something we do year round, but we're in a recession, I'm a college graduate living with MY MOTHER, so suffice it to say that in the current economic climate, we don't. Which is fine, everybody knows what they can afford to give and can't. But like I said, I'm reading up on Buddhism, and one of the BIG goals of that philosophy is to end your own suffering. But their doctrine says that humans are like this giant collective unit, so in the sense of reducing suffering, we're all one. What does that mean? Your own suffering won't be eliminated until EVERYBODY'S suffering is eliminated. That can be either really depressing or really freaking cool depending on how you look at it. Ever the optimist, I think it's pretty great. It's encouraging each of us to get out there and help people, regardless of whether they deserve it, or are properly thankful for it, or even if they know it's you that helped them or not. Because if you don't, you will never be as happy as you could be. And, believe what you will, but psychology supports this notion. There have been countless studies on how charitable and altruistic acts lifts people's moods and overall happiness for pretty impressive lengths of time. SO GET OUT THERE AND EASE SOME SUFFERING, PEOPLE! I promise to do my best to do the same.